When I was twenty, I thought things had to pan out for certain things to be possible -especially in relationships. I had these hard rules I followed. There was this man I loved and still hold dear to my heart. I knew him since middle school before specific significant changes in my life.
I went back and forth for years, unsure of myself, unsure of us, and just scared to ever take the risk.
After some time when things were final between us, I recall him telling me that he didn’t act on his emotions anymore that he decided to not bother with feelings or worries from that moment on.
My heart is heavy as I think of him and this. Because even eight years later I think about that moment I called him and how foolish I was to push him away, the way I did. This man taught me to love and believe in myself. He loved me and believed in me when I did not.